“Cowboys & Aliens” – Jon Favreau

Cowboys, and Aliens! Gedit?! What a fantastic idea for a film! You take two of Hollywood’s most successful genres and mash them up! On the one hand, you have one of the oldest and most iconic of Hollywood genres, the western. And on the other, the classic means of reflecting the present by projecting into the future; science fiction. What’s more, both genres take themselves fantastically seriously, so mixing them up like this makes the inevitable humour that’s sure to follow all the more delicious! But here’s the killer; they’ve written all the jokes out!!! How fantastic is that?! They’ve taken the whole premise for the film, the very idea for making it in the first place, and turned it on its head! Instead of playing it for laughs, they play the whole thing completely straight! Brilliant!

I don’t like to go out on a limb here, but I confidently predict the birth of a whole new genre; the Surprise Package, or the Miss-match. After all, why stop with an unfunny comedy? What about an un-scary horror film? So instead of all that boring gore and any of that irritating tension, we spend the whole film focusing in on the teenage romance? Or alternatively, we concentrate on what it would actually be like, if you really did have to come to terms with the fact that your teenage girlfriend had been decapitated by a homicidal, axe-wielding manic in a Halloween mask. You’d end up in therapy for weeks, and as for your end of term exams, forget about it. Almost certainly, you’d have to repeat the whole year, which would be an absolute disaster.

Or what about a sex-free porn film, where everybody keeps their clothes on? When the plumber arrives in the first scene, we spend the rest of the film finding out precisely how it is that he fixes the plumbing. So when it comes to him thrusting his plunger deep into her hole and spraying for all he’s worth, we’ll get a detailed shot of her sink and his actual toolbox.

I’m not quite sure exactly why, but I haven’t as yet got around to actually heading out to my local multiplex and watching Cowboys and Aliens. But believe you me, I can’t wait! An hilarious, side-splitting comedy, but without the jokes! Genius!

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